The trailer for Machete appeared during the amazing Grindhouse from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, and now it’s a full length feature! Perfect!

But not quite.

Machete starts out exactly like you’d expect – a hilarious exploitation movie. And due to that tone, a really cool film and story. Machete used to be a Federale, but after a drug king kills his family he runs away from his past, and ends up in Texas as a day laborer.

He’s then hired to assassinate a Senator but is set up and has to run from the law and chase those who did him wrong in order to introduce them to justice in the form of a machete. After he escapes the assassination trap, the film suddenly takes a turn for the worse. The plot starts to thicken, and not in a good way – it’s the viscosity of a swamp and everything is bogged down by it. The jokes are gone, the over the top sequences are gone (for the most part), and all that’s left is an amazing premise that they take seriously when they most definitely should not.

There are jokes and comedic moments throughout the last two thirds of the film, but they just don’t have the pop or spark like those of the first act. You’ll chuckle to yourself quite a bit, but you won’t ever fully laugh for the rest of the movie. And that’s an incredibly sad thing to experience. It’s like watching Snakes on a Plane and then the snakes all get dumped off the plane twenty five minutes into the flick – is the rest of it going to be interesting and worth watching?

That analogy aside (regardless of how accurate or poor it is), I think the perfect comparison film for this would be Black Dynamite. That’s an over the top comedy, and even though the plot gets incredibly convoluted as the film progresses, it’s a send up of that type of movie and maintains its consistent approach and tone throughout. You don’t go through one scene in Black Dynamite where something ridiculous or absurd isn’t said. You start out in Machete that way, but once the absurd nature begins to fade you’re just left with a shrug-worthy action movie. So if you’re interested in Machete, I’d say just stick to the trailer while watching Grindhouse and you’ll stay satisfied.

As a child I had an experience where a dog looking through the living room window scared me, and ever since I’ve been easily scared of dark windows and doorways – the perfect spots in scary movies for things to jump out at you. The Last Exorcism, a movie done in a “found footage” style, spends a lot of time with scenes filled with that type of scenario. Whether anything jumps out at you, I’ll let you find out yourself when you see this movie.

And see it you should, if this type of scary flick seems up your ally. Now it’s not crazy gory or scary due to the use of cheap and cliche tricks, it’s suspense that gets you. There’s tension palpable in the frame, and it tightens and tightens as the story progresses, building until the final amazing ending that you see coming in some ways but definitely don’t in quite a few others.

The film starts off by introducing us to Reverend Cotton Marcus, played in a captivating performance by Patrick Fabian. He’s been raised as a reverend and an exorcist, but wants the filmmakers to help him expose exorcism for the fraud it really is. While he’s a faithful man, he’s also a cynical man – cynical of the gullibility and sometimes backwards nature of men, especially when it can lead to death, as we find is the case with exorcism.

So they open a random letter asking for help, and travel to a backwoods farm to perform an “exorcism” on a young girl named Nell, played by Ashley Bell in another captivating performance. In fact, while we’re on the subject, there’s not a bad performance in this flick. They’re all superb, down to the last random person telling Cotton about local legends at the gas station – you keep thinking, are these all professional actors? They should be getting more work if so. And if they’re not, did they find locals that were that natural on camera? Or are the stories they’re telling true, a nod to the truth found in the concept and the Cotton character’s attitudes toward the people there? Whatever the case may be, every actor is amazing. Name recognition should also be paid to Louis Herthum, who plays Nell’s desperate father.

The first exorcism scene is amazing, a lesson in how easy it could be to fool those who are in the mindset of wanting to be fooled. Everything is resolved then, the girl is freed, and Cotton and the film crew go to a nearby motel to rest before heading back home.

And then in the middle of the night, Nell is there. Without a car. And without her family. With miles of distance to her house. And as far as we and the other characters can tell, no way of knowing which motel they were staying at.

From that point, things begin to unravel and then wind back up again, back and forth, as new clues into the dark side of the family crop up and assumptions run wild. There’s not a slow moment that isn’t pure tension, and there are so many creepy and scary bits interspersed throughout the flick you start to wonder if maybe the girl really is possessed, and there won’t be some twist at the end that reveals it was all a hoax with innocent origins.

And the movie plays out as you would imagine, and you are scared and thrilled as you would hope. Then this nagging thought in your head tells you there’s something more to this film, and you shouldn’t think you know it all just yet. So you see a twist coming, and sure enough, it comes, and then the characters head toward the ending, and you ride along with them, wondering what the hell is going on. The movie played toward your expectations to this point, you were scared and entertained solidly throughout, now what are they going to do? Ruin it with some lame last shot where someone says “No….IT ISN’T” and then BAM you see one shot that surprises you and it’s over?

Well, not exactly.

Like I said, you’ll see some of the ending coming, but at the same time, some of it you won’t. And it’s the parts you won’t that stick with you after the credits start rolling. You will be satisfied, even if you don’t think there’s enough closure. Clues earlier in the film could inform some of your questions about certain fates, but if you are like me you absolutely loved the movie once Cotton does one specific act, and no matter the clues or the questions you will be satisfied with the film from a character standpoint, from an emotional standpoint, and that can be a truly powerful and unexpected thing at the end of a horror movie. When done right, the most powerful and unexpected thing. The entire reason we love horror movies.

For being done independently on little to no budget, the thing looks fantastic, and the attention to detail is phenomenal. At one point, Nell abducts the camera during the night for a little trip, and the filmmakers know that she wouldn’t pick up the audio recorder and boom mic as well – so we hear sound as if it’s from the camera mic, wind blowing it out as she takes it outside and all. As a filmmaker, I loved the little touches like that.

While this movie may not end up being the type of horror film everyone loves, if you were at all intrigued by the promotional campaign and/or the tremendous word of mouth, I encourage you to get to the theater quick and see this before you have to wait for DVD. It’s a theater experience worth taking in.

“If you believe in God you must believe in the Devil.” Regardless of whether or not we agree with the tagline and standpoint of Cotton, by the time this movie is over you will believe that there are still original films being made that can scare and thrill us, make us think, and serve as a great example of why it’s so fun to see horror.

If you’re looking for an old-fashioned 3D horror flick, pure and simple escapism, then make your way to the theater.

The plot is there, and surprisingly believable considering it’s more complicated than just a “dumped fish multiply until they take over the lake” or a “there have always been strange deaths on the water, and now they just so happen to be attacking full force!” It really elevates it to another level of fun, to be quite honest, because you go in expecting to theatrically experience a SyFy channel movie but find a flick much much better than that.

There are certainly moments of “really?” interspersed among the story, but it’s hard to really notice them due to how much fun you’re having with the characters. They’re funny, and the kills are inventive and varied enough that you are always waiting for the next one, just to see how it happens.

My favorite moments weren’t actually any of the gory kills, they involved more than one character using a shotgun to shoot (successfully) the Piranha. They don’t turn to some other weapon first, that’s their first choice – and it works (at least for the few bullets they have)! Heroism.

Another great thing about this movie is that its advertising has been straightforward. The movie is what it claims to be, it knows what it’s supposed to do, and it does it exceptionally well. So if you’ve seen the trailers and TV spots, and think you might like a nice horror flick in 3D, then I encourage you to see it. It’s a fun and gory time.

This weekend I finally saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. I’d been dying all week after hearing how amazing it was from all of my friends plus the entire internet, so I was glad to see for myself.

Everything you’ve heard is true.

Let’s take base level first – as a comic book movie. Comic to screen adaptation? Best I’ve ever seen. It really is the best translation that’s been made so far – hits all the perfect points a comic offers but in the medium of film, while simultaneously building upon the source material with the kinds of pop culture chords only moving pictures can hit (a small scene as an homage to Seinfeld, for example). If you’ve ever read a comic book and thought “this would be a great movie” and then seen the movie that followed and thought it didn’t quite get it, you need to see this because you will have faith again that someone will get it right one of these days. Because that day is today, with this flick.

Likewise, if you’ve ever seen a movie and thought “this would be a kickass comic” then you should see this. I haven’t read the comic, but I can only imagine it would be a seamless entertainment transition to go from enjoying one medium to the other. Be warned: this is not the case with almost everything else out there.

Flaming sword! Byaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Yes, Ang Lee is eating his heart out and sobbing in a corner somewhere, because he only wishes his underwhelming comic transitions in his underwhelming comic book movie could compare to how perfectly executed this film is.

Now let’s get to the geeky part. It’s so amazing, and honestly it’s so beyond me. I can only envy the people who get every single homage and nugget sprinkled throughout the entirety of the movie. Wait, no, sprinkles aren’t the right metaphor. This movie is like confetti cake for nerds – there is something beautiful happening either obviously or in the background every three seconds of this movie on average. I recognized some of the musical cues, even if I didn’t know the specific games they came from. And they were awesome.

And now the meat of it. Is there any? I think many people who dismissed the movie the minute they saw the first trailer would have you believe there’s nothing to this other than a nerdfest of video game noises and fights. Like a Matrix movie coated in Junior Mints. But tis not the case.

It’s a coming of age movie, and a pretty heavy one at that. It’s not just a fake little world where the guy has to fight a bunch of other guys to get a girl – no, there is meaning here. There’s a reason for it all. It’s how Scott approaches life – the only way he can relate himself to the world around him, and to the changes he’s going through growing up, is to imagine it’s all like a video game.

We can all relate to this at some level, even if it’s just as a toddler and playing with the latest Ninja Turtle figures or G. I. Joes. For some of us as we get older though, we keep thinking about our issues or problems in fantastical ways – very often it’s just a way to cure boredom while growing up – imagine you could stop in the middle of an unbearably boring car ride and run out into the world to catch a Pokemon!

We all have personal demons and inner struggles. It’s just that this flick takes a different approach to dealing with those issues and coming to terms with ourselves – Scott doesn’t just metaphorically fight off his personal demons in order to grow up and have a healthy relationship; he gives the metaphor context by placing it in a culture that he dives into so much every day that it really and truly is just as much a part of him as the personal demons. What makes this story so spectacular is that his personal angels manifest as well, and their voices are 8-bit cries from Heaven.

So…why exactly is it you haven’t seen the movie?

We’re at work on preproduction for our next short film, “in the long run.” We’re currently seeking donations as we gear up for filming. You can find more info about the project and how to donate here: http://kck.st/c9BoW8.

I have also added the film’s website to the list of links – you can visit inthelongrun.com for updates!

We appreciate your support, whether it be in donations or interest in seeing the final product. Check the website often for updates in the coming months!

This weekend brought about a long awaited new take on the Predator series. Forget Predator 2, and definitely forget the AVP movies. They are of a different realm in this universe, in some weird place where Alien: Resurrection doesn’t seem so bad.

Predators is great. It’s amazing how good it is as a callback to the 80′s action film, Predator especially. The pace, the lighting, it’s there – one notable difference being that with Predator we were introduced to the creature in the first few acts without really knowing what the guys were up against. Here, we know about the Predator, so it’s more about learning why these humans are here and how many will die before they figure out the truth. Surprisingly, it’s not too many. And yet that doesn’t disappoint.

And the music, one could rave about the music endlessly. It takes cues from the first film, and just hits that 80′s music vibe dead on throughout the flick.

So I really enjoyed the movie, but there was one thing that was missing. The thing that should have been the heart and soul of it to be a true callback to those glorious 19 hundred and 80′s: one-liners.

Unfortunately, there were none.

Why do people love Predator so much? There are a few reasons, but the main thing people will say if you ask them about Predator is that Arnold is in it, there’s a really cool alien in it, then they start quoting it. Because it has fantastic one-liners. Good parallels? Well, there are quite a few, and the first that comes to my mind is Die Hard. But I digress.

There are good lines in this movie, but there are none like Predator. I can’t remember any cool lines except the last one, and I only remember that because it was last and though it had perfect delivery, it was really disappointing. Because it wasn’t a one-liner. It was just sort of like, yeah, understandable sentiment. This is a movie though, be at least a little more poetic about it.

Now if you’re a fan of the Predator series, don’t let this deter you; there’s still plenty to enjoy in this flick, and it is certainly a worthy sequel.

It’s just that when I see a bunch of tough guys (and girl) go up against a big alien hunter, I like it to involve some great lines.

Excuse me, do you have the time? … TO BLEED?!

So I say see it, just don’t expect to walk out quoting it.